Editing again

Week 7

What did I do?

Annotated last week’s draft

As I read through my draft again, after several days, I noticed two major things. Firstly, that I need to work on my use of dialogue as not only did it sound too posed, awkward, and historically inacurate, but I also outright skipped writing conversations such as when Corday meets Marat’s mistress. I need to do more research and practice writing with the correct vernacular so that my work can sound genuine, entertaining and less cliche.

Also cliche, the second major thing that I noticed was my imagery. At one point I can see that I have attempted to implement as much of the Rule of Three as could possibly be used in the history of the English language. This is cringy and does not flow AT ALL! So, I cannot wait to rewrite it 😉

Wrote two scenes to fill in gaps

After/during editing I analysed the tone which I had previously used for Madame Guillotine. I found that, in my second revised draft, I have portrayed with a depressive and morbid mood and with a judgemental tone as she speaks of Corday and France. I used this to work on writing more of her sections within the story – mostly near the beginning after Corday left Caen.

I also inserted the part where Corday speaks of meeting the Girondins in Caen, Normandy. This section has the most character-to-audience intimacy that I have written so far. She speaks to the audience of her meeting and getting to know the Girondin faction of the National Convention after they have been expelled, portraying their outrage and vengance. It also serves to set the scene of the story contextually, with phrases like: “our king is dead, the dirt of his shallow grave yet unsettled”.

Both of these scenes are still very blocky and will need to be rewritten before I add them to the full draft. They also lack imagery and bulk as together they are barely 200 words. Yet, by writing them, I have been able to keep a creative flow, rather than loosing momentum in editing. That is important, as I am still far from the word count.

 

Image: http://www.discardedimage.com/?p=5877

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